Frequently Asked Questions

Sex therapists and sex coaches both work with individuals or couples to improve their sexual experiences, but they differ in their training, qualifications, and scope of practice.

A sex therapist is a licensed mental health professional who has completed specialized training in sex therapy. They are trained to diagnose and treat sexual dysfunctions, such as erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and low libido. They often work with individuals or couples who are experiencing sexual problems due to psychological or emotional issues, such as anxiety, depression, or past trauma. Sex therapists may also provide counseling on sexual orientation and gender identity issues.

On the other hand, a certified sex & relationship coach is not a licensed mental health professional and does not provide therapy or diagnose and treat sexual dysfunctions. Instead, a certified sex & relationship coach focuses on helping individuals or couples enhance their sexual skills and knowledge, and achieve their sexual and intimacy goals. certified sex & relationship coaches often work with clients who are seeking to improve their sexual communication, explore new sexual activities, or increase their sexual satisfaction.  A certified sex & relationship coach uses a somatic approach to unblock energy and encourage a deeper understanding of one's body.

In summary, sex therapists are trained mental health professionals who diagnose and take a mental approach, while certified sex & relationship coaches focus on enhancing sexual skills and achieving sexual goals by taking a somatic approach.  They often work closely together to provide a full spectrum of healing for their clients.

1. Wanting to improve their sexual skills: Some people seek the help of a sex coach to learn new sexual techniques and improve their skills in the bedroom. They may feel insecure about their abilities or want to explore new ways of pleasuring themselves or their partners.
2. Struggling with sexual dysfunction: Sexual dysfunction can take many forms, including difficulty achieving or maintaining an erection, premature ejaculation, difficulty reaching orgasm, or pain during sex. A sex coach can help individuals address these issues and provide guidance on techniques to improve their sexual function.
3. Exploring their sexuality: Some people may be curious about exploring new aspects of their sexuality, such as kink or BDSM, but may not know where to start. A sex coach can provide guidance and support as individuals navigate these new experiences.
4. Enhancing intimacy and connection: Sex coaching can help couples deepen their connection and intimacy through communication exercises, exploring each other's desires, and learning new ways to pleasure each other.
5. Healing from past traumas: Past traumas, such as sexual abuse or assault, can have a significant impact on an individual's sexuality. A sex coach can provide a safe and supportive space for individuals to explore their feelings and work through their trauma to reclaim their sexuality.
6. Overcoming shame and guilt: Many people feel shame or guilt around their sexuality, which can prevent them from fully enjoying sex or exploring new experiences. A sex coach can help individuals address these feelings and develop a healthier and more positive relationship with their sexuality.

VITA stands for the Vital and Integrated Tantric Approach to coaching, and it was developed by Layla Martin, founder of the tantric Institute for Integrative sexuality. It blends tantric practices and the wisdom of sacred sexuality with neurobiology research and the science of emotional healing used in traditional therapy.

The strengths of traditional therapy are that it uses well-researched methods, particularly in trauma recovery and behavior change. There is often a strong emphasis on verbal processing and cognitive questioning as a way to change behavior. It also tends to focus on a client's problems and where they come from, trying to figure out what happened to them in their past that led to their current problem. Little or no attention is paid to the body and its energy systems. 

The problem with focusing on the past is that you can't change it. So even if you realize, "oh, I have this fear of abandonment because I was left as a child." What do you do with that? Sometimes just being aware of something doesn't help you move forward into change. Also, it is complicated to know exactly where all of our behaviors and thoughts and beliefs have come from in the past. A lot of it is subconscious, or maybe it is an accumulation of many little experiences that created this belief, to begin with. 

So what can we do? 

The way to actually address those subconscious patterns in yourself is to use rituals and practices that speak to the subconscious mind. For example, you can use breathwork to move energy through the body in a way that encourages stress cycles to complete and supports nervous system healing. VITA keeps the best parts of traditional therapy and adds a tantric spin to give attention to the body and its role in our holistic healing and thriving. 

For example, sessions can focus on holistic sexuality and embodiment; breathwork, sounding, and energy movement; whole self-integration, or all of the above. Most importantly, it is always desire focused on bringing your awareness and intention over and over again to what you deeply desire and who you really want to be. One of the tools I'll show you is breathwork. 

The breath is one of the most accessible and overlooked ways to move energy through your body. Breathwork can help you complete trauma cycles, process emotions that have gotten stuck in the body, release tension, and heighten your sensitivity, equating to easier and deeper states of pleasure. 

It can activate the chakras, enabling you to experience the full spectrum of your energetic vibrations and energy flow through your entire body. Yin and Yang breathwork can also be used to cultivate qualities of the feminine or masculine for an improved balance of flowing surrender and a fiery action in your life. 

We will also do integration exercises that help you feel the wisdom of your body and identify sources of resistance to actually having what you deeply desire. Such as being free to love your body and explore your sexuality unapologetically. For example, is your inner child putting up a fight? Does the magical priestess part of you need permission to flourish? Do you have religious shame and conditioning that must be acknowledged or emotions you completely avoid? Continual integration puts these pieces of yourself in alignment, dramatically reducing the inner conflict you experience as you pursue your desires. The best part is that you can do this without denying or repressing any part of yourself. In fact, all you have to do is give them love and compassion. 

Besides just feeling good, holistic self-pleasuring uses pleasure as medicine for emotional healing. And you can use it to build sensitivity in different body parts. So you can experience a wider range of pleasurable sensations during sex. Regularly bringing this intentional loving energy to yourself strengthens your self-love, sexual worthiness, and gratitude toward your body. 

I will never ask you to try a practice or technique that I haven't used myself. I believe in this methodology so much because these practices have made the greatest difference for me to feel beautiful, powerful, and one with my body, and I believe they can for you too. If you have any questions, please write them down and bring them to our discovery call.