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Open communication is key in situations like this. Express your feelings to your boyfriend in a calm and honest manner. Let him know that you appreciate his desire for intimacy but that there are times when you may not be in the mood. Encourage a conversation about boundaries and establish a mutual understanding regarding each other's comfort levels.
Consider introducing a signal or a gentle phrase that communicates when you're not in the mood without causing discomfort. This approach fosters a respectful environment for both partners. Additionally, exploring together the moments or activities that enhance your mood for intimacy can strengthen your connection and make the experience more enjoyable for both of you. Remember, maintaining open dialogue allows for a deeper understanding and paves the way for a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship.
Share your feelings openly, emphasizing that you want to deepen your connection by discussing your intimate experiences. Gently explain the physiological differences between squirting and urination, highlighting that squirting is a natural part of some women's sexual responses.
Consider suggesting educational resources or articles on female anatomy and sexual health to provide additional context. My recommendation is Sheri Winston's "Woman's Anatomy of Arousal."
Encourage your husband to explore these materials together to enhance understanding.
Ensure that your conversation remains open, non-confrontational, and focused on mutual growth and connection. Remember, patience and empathy play pivotal roles in fostering a deeper understanding of each other's experiences and promoting a more harmonious intimate relationship.
Open communication is vital for improving intimacy in a relationship. Instead of focusing on the negative, consider candidly conversing with your boyfriend about your desires and preferences. Express your feelings with kindness, emphasizing your wish for a more fulfilling and connected physical experience.
Guide him gently by sharing what feels good and what you enjoy during intimate moments. Positive reinforcement and encouragement can go a long way in building confidence and enhancing his understanding of your needs.
Consider exploring new activities together to deepen your connection. Attend workshops, read books, or watch educational materials on intimacy as a couple. This shared exploration can not only improve your physical connection but also strengthen your emotional bond.
Remember, fostering an environment of open communication and collaboration can lead to a more satisfying and harmonious intimate relationship. Approach the conversation with empathy and a shared commitment to mutual growth and pleasure.
In the realm of somatic and tantric approaches, shifting the focus from a goal-oriented perspective to one that values the holistic experience of intimacy is essential. Rather than placing emphasis on a rapid climax, consider exploring a more mindful and connected journey together.
Communicate openly with your partner about his medication and its potential impact on sexual experiences. Understanding and compassion are fundamental aspects of somatic awareness. Encourage him to share any sensations or emotions he may be experiencing, fostering a deeper connection between both of you.
Incorporate tantric practices that prioritize mindfulness and the sacred nature of intimacy. Experiment with conscious breathing techniques to enhance both your awareness and pleasure. By immersing yourselves in the present moment, you may discover a more profound connection that transcends a specific timeframe.
Explore erogenous zones, engage in sensual massages, and celebrate the entire spectrum of pleasure beyond penetration. This shift in perspective can lead to a more fulfilling experience for both partners.
Remember that individual responses to sexual stimuli vary, and external factors such as medications can indeed influence one's sexual experience. It's crucial to approach this with patience, understanding, and a willingness to explore new avenues of pleasure together. Open communication, somatic awareness, and the incorporation of tantric principles can contribute to a more enriching and connected sexual journey.
My favorite way to communicate about sex is right after sex while you are still lying in each other's arms or next to each other. I call this "Monday Morning Quarterback." It's sort of like an instant replay of what just transpired.
In this scenario, you communicate to your partner what you enjoyed the most and use detail when talking about it. I encourage you to make only positive statements about your experience. During this time you can sneak in requests, as it will feel more natural since you are already on the topic. So you might say something like, "I really enjoyed when you put a little pressure on my chest with your hand.....I wonder what it would feel like if you put your hand on my throat the next time?" or "I loved it when you took off my clothes before we got onto the bed, how would you feel about pushing me onto the bed next time?" Phrasing your request as an inquiry or a curiosity takes the fear out of asking for what you want AND it allows your partner to take part in this decision so it feels like you both came up with it.
First, I wouldn't use the word normal....because what is Normal and what is that in comparison to? There is a wide range when it comes to penis size. On average, an erect penis measures around 5.16 inches in length from the base to the tip (this can look shorter if you have more fatty tissue in the pubic region) and the circumference is about 4.5 inches.
Ultimately, what matters most in sexual satisfaction is communication, mutual consent, and a strong emotional connection between partners. There are other ways to focus on pleasure if you feel that the size of your penis isn't getting the job done. I would suggest finding out what your partner enjoys the most and focus on that.
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Sex therapists and sex coaches both work with individuals or couples to improve their sexual experiences, but they differ in their training, qualifications, and scope of practice.
A sex therapist is a licensed mental health professional who has completed specialized training in sex therapy. They are trained to diagnose and treat sexual dysfunctions, such as erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and low libido. They often work with individuals or couples who are experiencing sexual problems due to psychological or emotional issues, such as anxiety, depression, or past trauma. Sex therapists may also provide counseling on sexual orientation and gender identity issues.
On the other hand, a certified sex & relationship coach is not a licensed mental health professional and does not provide therapy or diagnose and treat sexual dysfunctions. Instead, a certified sex & relationship coach focuses on helping individuals or couples enhance their sexual skills and knowledge, and achieve their sexual and intimacy goals. certified sex & relationship coaches often work with clients who are seeking to improve their sexual communication, explore new sexual activities, or increase their sexual satisfaction. A certified sex & relationship coach uses a somatic approach to unblock energy and encourage a deeper understanding of one's body.
In summary, sex therapists are trained mental health professionals who diagnose and take a mental approach, while certified sex & relationship coaches focus on enhancing sexual skills and achieving sexual goals by taking a somatic approach. They often work closely together to provide a full spectrum of healing for their clients.
VITA stands for the Vital and Integrated Tantric Approach to coaching, and it was developed by Layla Martin, founder of the tantric Institute for Integrative sexuality. It blends tantric practices and the wisdom of sacred sexuality with neurobiology research and the science of emotional healing used in traditional therapy.
The strengths of traditional therapy are that it uses well-researched methods, particularly in trauma recovery and behavior change. There is often a strong emphasis on verbal processing and cognitive questioning as a way to change behavior. It also tends to focus on a client's problems and where they come from, trying to figure out what happened to them in their past that led to their current problem. Little or no attention is paid to the body and its energy systems.
The problem with focusing on the past is that you can't change it. So even if you realize, "oh, I have this fear of abandonment because I was left as a child." What do you do with that? Sometimes just being aware of something doesn't help you move forward into change. Also, it is complicated to know exactly where all of our behaviors and thoughts and beliefs have come from in the past. A lot of it is subconscious, or maybe it is an accumulation of many little experiences that created this belief, to begin with.
So what can we do?
The way to actually address those subconscious patterns in yourself is to use rituals and practices that speak to the subconscious mind. For example, you can use breathwork to move energy through the body in a way that encourages stress cycles to complete and supports nervous system healing. VITA keeps the best parts of traditional therapy and adds a tantric spin to give attention to the body and its role in our holistic healing and thriving.
For example, sessions can focus on holistic sexuality and embodiment; breathwork, sounding, and energy movement; whole self-integration, or all of the above. Most importantly, it is always desire focused on bringing your awareness and intention over and over again to what you deeply desire and who you really want to be. One of the tools I'll show you is breathwork.
The breath is one of the most accessible and overlooked ways to move energy through your body. Breathwork can help you complete trauma cycles, process emotions that have gotten stuck in the body, release tension, and heighten your sensitivity, equating to easier and deeper states of pleasure.
It can activate the chakras, enabling you to experience the full spectrum of your energetic vibrations and energy flow through your entire body. Yin and Yang breathwork can also be used to cultivate qualities of the feminine or masculine for an improved balance of flowing surrender and a fiery action in your life.
We will also do integration exercises that help you feel the wisdom of your body and identify sources of resistance to actually having what you deeply desire. Such as being free to love your body and explore your sexuality unapologetically. For example, is your inner child putting up a fight? Does the magical priestess part of you need permission to flourish? Do you have religious shame and conditioning that must be acknowledged or emotions you completely avoid? Continual integration puts these pieces of yourself in alignment, dramatically reducing the inner conflict you experience as you pursue your desires. The best part is that you can do this without denying or repressing any part of yourself. In fact, all you have to do is give them love and compassion.
Besides just feeling good, holistic self-pleasuring uses pleasure as medicine for emotional healing. And you can use it to build sensitivity in different body parts. So you can experience a wider range of pleasurable sensations during sex. Regularly bringing this intentional loving energy to yourself strengthens your self-love, sexual worthiness, and gratitude toward your body.
I will never ask you to try a practice or technique that I haven't used myself. I believe in this methodology so much because these practices have made the greatest difference for me to feel beautiful, powerful, and one with my body, and I believe they can for you too. If you have any questions, please write them down and bring them to our discovery call.
Click below to watch me help Daniel and Bianca in their Intimacy Journey.